
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7691377.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Armin_Arlert, Mikasa_Ackerman,
      Jean_Kirstein, Erwin_Smith, Hange_Zoë, Other_Character_Tags_to_Be_Added
  Additional Tags:
      Heavy_Angst, Depression, Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Tutoring,
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Organized_Crime, Murder_Mystery,
      Eventual_Smut, Levi_is_Eren's_tutor, sort_of_inspired_by_Dengeki_Daisy,
      Levi/Eren_Yeager-centric, Self-Harm, depressing_shit_with_an_eventual
      happy_ending, bcuz_my_babies_deserve_happiness_;-;, Slow_Burn
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-08-06 Words: 1992
****** To Zero ******
by petitluna
Summary
     High school student Eren Jaeger's perfect life was turned upside down
     following his mother's mysterious death and his father's sudden
     disappearance. What he doesn't realize, is that he may be in danger
     as well. Luckily, he has someone watching over him: a man who goes by
     the name of Zero. The only thing is, Eren doesn't know Zero's
     identity, as their communication is strictly via text messaging. But,
     Eren has grown to trust Zero more than anyone he's known in his life.
     Another thing Eren doesn't know, is that Zero is none other than his
     new English tutor, a grumpy man named Levi, who Eren likes to refer
     to as an asshole.
Notes
     This is going to be one angst-filled fic, which I've been wanting to
     do in contrast to my other fic I've been working on, which is the
     complete opposite :^) This is going to be another long-term project,
     and my initial inspiration for this came from the manga, Dengeki
     Daisy. Rated E for later chapters, which I will mention. Not sure yet
     how often I'll be updating, since my current priority is my Voltron
     fic.
     Enjoy~
“Um, what happened to Miss Ral?”
“Quit. I’ll be your new tutor.”
“Oh.”
Eren stared out the half-blinded window, dark clouds beginning to crowd the
dull gray sky outside. Once more, he had barely slept through the night.
Perhaps four three at most. He wasn’t sure if his mind could bare through the
two hour lesson.
“Let’s start with your homework from last session.”
“Right.”
Eren glanced at the man sitting beside him. His new tutor. The man looked
fairly young, similar to most of the tutors at the center. However, his tired
eyes stood out in contrast to his youthful features. Furrowed brows, thin lips,
jet-black hair, a defined jaw structure. It wasn’t certain whether he was
freshly shaven or rather didn’t grow facial hair.
“What’s with the stare, kid?”
“Ah, sorry,” Eren apologized, turning his attention to the workbook pages he
had just opened to.
The man took the workbook from Eren and his eyes scanned the two pages in
silence. Eren couldn’t help but open his mouth to break the silence. Miss Ral
was always particularly chatty. And silence wasn’t something Eren could
typically stand for long, especially with a stranger.
“What’s your name?”
Silence.
“U-um, sorry, but you didn’t tell me your name.”
“Huh?” The man looked up from the workbook.
“It’s just that, I’m not sure what I should call you, since you’re my new
tutor.”
“Levi.”
Eren simply nodded and returned his attention to the window, wondering how he’d
be able to make it home if it began to rain. Afterall, the rubber of his left
windshield wiper fell off just a few days prior.
“You missed half of them.”
“Oh. Sorry, I had-”
“No excuses. While I’m your tutor, there won’t be excuses, alright?”
Eren studied Levi’s face more closely, now that he was looking directly at him.
Despite the unusual tiredness that surrounded his narrow eyes, he finally
noticed the striking color they presented. Two orbs of piercing gray. Eren
diverted his gaze.
“Yes, sir.”
“Alright, since you missed nearly every single question of part one, let’s redo
it. I want you to re-read and mark this passage and let me know when you are
finished.”
Eren nodded and proceeded to re-read the literary passage on the page. Levi had
already read the passage. More than once. Perhaps ten times, considering he
repeatedly used the same workbook to teach his other students.
While Eren studied the passage, Levi studied Eren. Unkempt hair, tanned skin,
slightly large ears. He noticed calluses at the tips of each finger as Eren
worked his pencil, underlining particular points and making marginal notes as
he read through the passage. His eyes, though, were most appealing. Such a
peculiar color. Not entirely green, but not entirely blue.
“Done.” Eren looked up at Levi, gently pushing the workbook in his direction
for review.
“So, tell me what you understand about this passage.”
“Um, well it’s talking about a girl who spends every summer at a certain
beach.”
“And?”
“And? Uh…”
“Why is this important?”
“I don’t really understand what you mean,” Eren admitted. He didn’t know why,
but every time Levi looked at him, he felt uncomfortable. Every time he looked
at him, he felt his mind go blank.
“It’s not just a matter of knowing what the passage is about. It’s a matter of
knowing its significance. What is the purpose of this passage? Why did the
author write it? What is the author trying to accomplish? Those are all things
you should be asking yourself as you read these passages.”
“Well, the girl is reminiscing, isn’t she?”
“So, what of it?”
“So, the author is probably trying to make the reader understand that this is
an important memory to this character.” Eren tried to maintain his focus on
Levi without looking away.
“There’s still a point that you’re missing. Just because the author is giving
us a memory, doesn’t necessarily mean the memory itself is important. Rather,
think of what the author is trying to tell us about the character through this
memory. The memory, in this case, is just a tool.”
“So...the author’s using it because…”
“Because the girl is independent, and instead of spoon-feeding information to
us about the character, the author decides to show us.”
“Oh…”
Levi sighed.
“Let’s move on. I want you to now to summarize the main idea of each paragraph,
then you may attempt the questions.”
“Seriously?” Eren protested.
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
Eren was too tired for this. He barely made it through the school day, and now
he had to deal with this. At least Petra was always warm and understanding.
This guy? He was going to be a real pain, wasn’t he.
 
---
 
Somehow Eren had managed to make it through the remaining session. The evening
air was cold as he opened the door to the outside, but he was free from the
temporary hell schooling and tutoring provided. Water droplets fell onto his
face, and he silently cursed to himself. The walk home was not going to be fun.
He was walking along the dark and empty city streets for a couple blocks when
the light showers turned into a downpour. As Eren began to curse to himself
once more, an old Volvo pulled up next to him against the sidewalk, windshield
wipers sweeping away furiously at the rain. The window rolled down, revealing
his perfectly-kempt tutor.
“Hey, kid! The hell is wrong with you?”
“My car wipers are broken,” Eren shouted back.
“Get in!”
Without protest, Eren got into the passenger side of Levi’s car. Despite the
awkward feeling of sharing a car with his uptight tutor, he’d much rather
suffer through that than the near-freezing bite of the rain.
“There’s a big storm coming in, you know. You’re crazy to be walking out
there,” Levi scolded.
“Like I said, my car wipers are broken.”
“I heard you the first time, brat. Where do you live?”
“The neighborhood on Maria and Rose.” Eren chose to ignore the fact that Levi
had just called him a brat, too tired to argue with anyone, let alone his
tutor.
“Of course you do.” Levi gave a dry laugh.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Afterall, only the wealthiest little shits in this town can afford that
tutoring center.”
“I...guess,” Eren agreed. He couldn’t deny that his parents gave him only the
best education and resources to succeed. He couldn’t deny that he came from a
family of money.
The rest of the ride was uncomfortably silent. The only sound came from the low
volume of Levi’s car radio, playing through three classic rock songs before
reaching Eren’s house.
“You can just pull up here.” Eren pointed to the roundabout driveway in front
of the closed gate.
“Alright. See you Friday.”
“Yeah.” Eren turned back once more before exiting the vehicle. “Thanks.”
 
---
 
Eren spent the rest of the night relaxing in his bedroom and talking to, rather
messaging, Zero. Zero was someone who Eren had been communicating with for over
a year now. It started right after Eren’s mother had passed and his father had
disappeared.
 
“You don’t know me, but you can call me Zero. I’m a friend of your family, and
due to recent events, I’ve been asked to check on you regularly. It’s nice to
meet you Eren.”
“I’m confused. Why do I need to be checked on?”
“I cannot tell you, exactly. But I would like you to trust me. It was your
father’s idea.”
“What about Mikasa?”
“She is fine, since she is away at boarding school.”
“And I’m not fine?”
“I don’t think you are.”
 
Since that day, Eren didn’t go a day without talking to Zero. Maybe it was
because he was lonely. Maybe it was because Zero had been right since the
beginning: he wasn’t fine, and he hadn’t been since his parents left. Since
then, Eren had been alone in the large house that was left behind for him.
Mikasa, his adoptive sister, was away studying at a prestigious all-girls
school, and only came to visit a couple times per month. She hated the
distance, and the fact that she couldn’t stay with Eren. But, it was their
parents’ request, and the siblings promised to respect their parents’ wishes.
It was the least they could do.
Armin, Eren’s best friend, came over so often, he practically lived there. Eren
was incredibly grateful for Armin, and couldn’t imagine his life, or the past
year especially, without him. However, Armin couldn’t be there all the time,
and it was those times when Eren needed Zero the most. Eren had grown very
attached to Zero, despite not knowing his identity. Eren didn’t know what Zero
looked like, where he lived, how old he was, or even what he sounded like.
Hell, he didn’t even know if “Zero” was his real name. All of their
communication occurred through text messages. In the beginning, Eren found it
somewhat shady, but as time went on, he found himself opening up to Zero in
ways he had never opened up to anyone before, not even Armin. It was then that
Eren realized he didn’t need to know who Zero was, as long as he had him. He
thought that, perhaps, because he didn’t know Zero, it was easier to let
everything out. Because he didn’t know Zero, he didn’t need to filter his
thoughts or emotions. He could say or reveal whatever he wanted, and Zero would
still be there, because that was his job.
Eren sent Zero a text as soon as he was relaxed in his bed.
Eren: I got a new tutor today
Zero responded within seconds.
Zero: Yeah? How was it?
Eren: Shitty. He seems like a hard-ass, but he drove me home, which was nice I
guess…
Zero: Oh, why’d he drive you home?
Eren: Remember I mentioned the rubber part of my windshield wiper came off? It
was raining today so I couldn’t exactly drive home..
Zero: Ah. Well, that was nice of him
Eren: Yea. But whatever. I’m tired as fuck but I don’t think I’ll be able to
sleep again tonight
Zero: Eren, you need sleep.
Eren: What if I don’t wanna?
Zero: Eren…
Eren: But really. I can’t help that I have insomnia
Zero: Please go to a doctor. I’ve been asking you for months now
Eren: I don’t need meds. I’d rather be awake. Sleeping is scary
Eren wasn’t lying. He had barely gone a night without having some sort of
nightmare this past year. Every night was another hell. Being awake, he found,
was just a bit less painful.
Zero: I know. I have nightmares too.
Eren: What are your nightmares about?
Zero: Just things about my past. Guilt. Things I can’t change. Things I’ll
always regret
Eren: I keep seeing their faces
Zero: I know
Eren: I just want it to stop. When will it stop?
Zero: If I could make it stop, I would. I swear I would, Eren.
Tears escaped the corners of his eyes at Zero’s words. There was only one night
this week that Eren hadn’t cried himself to sleep. It was the same almost every
week. With this routine, the skin surrounding his eyes was raw and irritated.
Every time he cried, it burned.
Eren: I wish I could see you Zero
Zero: I know
Eren: Will I ever see you?
Zero: Maybe one day
Eren: That’s what you always say
Zero: Don’t worry, Eren. Even if you can’t see me, I’m always here. I always
will be, I swear it
Eren: I still wish that I can see you one day
Zero: I’m not that great of a person, Eren
Eren: I think you are
Zero: I’m not. I promise
Eren: You are to me. So stop saying stuff like that
Zero: Whatever you say, Eren
Once again, Eren found it impossible to sleep that night.
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